Active Listening is a skill you need
Even though this skill is rarely taught, it’s critical in both our professional and personal lives.
“Over 60% of errors in the workplace can be traced back to communication failure” (Gitnux Blog’23). That’s staggering!
Think about that for a minute – how many let down clients could that be? How many unconverted sales pitches? How many items produced in a factory which go to waste? How many mistakes and risks for a business is that? How many £’s literally flushed away?
If this was added up (either cost wise, money lost, profit missed), we suspect Business Owners would be asking their people to take a little more care when listening.
5 or 10 years ago, we could talk about the power of listening and in particular focus on non verbal communication (often when you get the real meaning behind a message), however, now, with an increased focus on remote working and never ending meetings virtually, some of those crucial signs are missed (or not even looked for).
You may think you are a great listener – a couple of things spring to mind. Has your partner ever said to you “are you even listening to me?”, or has a colleague stopped mid conversation with you whilst you were doing something else at the same time? If you gulped and went ‘erm, yeah’, then perhaps you need to really ask yourself if you can focus more in this area.
Yes, we are all busy and yes, we do sometimes need to do more than one thing at a time, but when it comes to listening to someone (specifically at work), you want to really show you are listening and concentrating on what they are saying. I hate to say it, but if you continue ‘not listening’, people will stop telling you stuff.
Research says that we tend to only remember 17-20% of what we are told, so if you consider you can listen to about 200 words per minute, then that is an awful lot of words you won’t remember! And they may be the really crucial ones you needed to hear.
So why don’t people listen? We could give you many reasons, but we want to focus on how you can improve, so we will just list a couple:
Distractions (a big one as chances are you will need to be doing something else simultaneously or you have something on your mind which is preoccupying you)
Lack of interest (the subject is not exciting for you or the person is taking too long to talk something through)
Assumptions (you think you know where the conversation is heading anyway)
As Jeffrey Gitomer once said “listen with the intent to understand, before you listen with the intent to respond”. How often have you found yourself ready to jump in with your answer before the person has even finished (I think we are all guilty, but it’s not really giving us chance to hone our active listening skills.) If you have ever been interrupted mid flow, you know how it makes you feel – so we don’t really want to knowingly do that to someone else.
Fundamentally, being a better listener can greatly enhance your personal and professional relationships, so let’s look at some things you can do and focus on:
Give your full attention
When someone is speaking to you, make a conscious effort to focus on what they are saying. Try and minimise distractions (perhaps turn to them instead of continuing to type on your laptop), maintain eye contact and show genuine interest. If you really can’t give the person your full attention, explain that now isn’t the best time for you and set a time to chat again.
Be present
Probably the most important one. Engage in active listening by being fully present in the conversation. Avoid thinking about what you want to say next or allowing your mind to wander. Stay in the moment and focus on the words being said
Maintain eye contact
If they are in front of you or on video call, eye contact is essential for effective listening. It shows that you are attentive and interested in what is being said. Look directly at the person speaking and maintain comfortable eye contact throughout the conversation.
Practice empathy
Put yourself in the other persons shoes and try to understand their perspective, show empathy and try to grasp their emotions, thoughts and experiences. It can help you connect with the other person on a deeper level, better understand their message and also stop your mind wandering to your reply.
Avoid interrupting
Even if you think you know where the conversation is going, allow the person to express their thoughts fully without interruption. Interrupting can disrupt their flow and make them feel unheard. Wait for natural pauses or cues before offering your input
Be patient
Give the person enough time to express their thoughts and ideas. Sometimes people need a moment to gather their words or express complex ideas. Try not to rush the conversation (you don’t know how long this person has been building up to talk to you about the subject).
Be aware of your body language
We all too often talk about the other person’s body language (of which you can learn a lot from by the way). However, this one focuses on yours! If you know you don’t possess a poker face, practice trying! Your facial reactions may give your reply away before you go to say it and you may stop the person’s flow. Manage your emotions and your body language to enable the person to finish what they are saying. Focus on positive reactions, the odd nod, attentive look, and ‘aha’ to show you are listening to them help a lot.
Ask questions
If you are unsure of something, ask clarifying questions. Even if you think you know what you are being told, ask another to confirm. This ensures you get a really deep understanding, but also lets the person know you are processing the information they are giving you.
Remember, this isn’t about you!
Let the person talk and don’t switch the conversation back to you each time. You might think you are helping them, but you may be knocking them off their prepared plan of what they want to say. If they want to talk about their laptop issue, you don’t need to talk about your laptop issue – this is about them! Let them know you are listening and not just ‘jumping on their conversation’.
Clarify
This is also known as reflective listening (and is something you can practice). Make sure you are both on the same page, it might be as simple as “So, Mrs Smith has said the product she received yesterday was too small, and you are sending a new one out which will be with her tomorrow by 3pm, is that right”? Try not to change their words too much, and keep to the main topic.
It lets the person speaking know you really were engaged but also checks that you both go away with the same points.
When someone next asks if they can have a word with you, be patient, be curious, and listen! After all, if you don’t listen, you might find out no-one has anything to say. And let’s be honest, if 60% of workplace errors can be traced back to communication failure, we want to know we are doing everything we can to reduce that number.
If you want some help with honing your listening skills or want to do some work with your team on the importance of listening, get in touch as we would love to support you.
